07/02/2011

Dear Diary,

I was feeling a little low this weak fed up of being incapable physically, I feel like it slows me down, fed up of medications, fed up of the pain, and memory issues.  God gave me a dream, my Bishop had his arms open telling me to "be encouraged things are going to get better" I was honoured I knew it was God encouraging me. 

I had to go to a meeting with the team supporting www.theredballandredparty.com, however the manager of the premises was out of town and his assistant had to open up an hour later than planned. I remember feeling frustrated because I knew persons would be waiting outside of the premises in this cold windy weather, my mothers husband was on his way to collect me as I am unable to drive at this moment, in prayer I was inspired to remain calm, getting emotional will not change the facts, no one is there to open the premises, and they will be an hour late, thankfully the Creative Designer Genaya called me when I told her my predicament and suggested tell everybody to wait in McDonalds further up the street. 

I finally arrive to beautiful faces of relief, as I apologise for my lateness a lady from the U.S starts asking if we are from Cardiff, I am so naughty I put on an accent and say no we are from the U.S (lol) then I ask her "sorry, can I help, are you lost?" as she has a paper in her hand, which looks like a map.  

She proceeds to ask me a question "please don't think me rude, but may I ask if you have been in a car accident?" So I start thinking to myself , she may be an insurance claims officer for people who have had car accidents and is about to tell me about her no win no fee claims applications.  

I reply "yes" she then says "I hope you don't think this strange but God told me that today I was going to meet someone in a red hat who was in a car accident and I must pray for them!"  

Now because I am promoting my www.theredballandredparty.com event, I am constantly in red from head to toe.  She then proceeded to show me this papaer in her hand that I had assumed was a map previously, stating the following "God had told her that by a red flag, near a pizza shop, she would see a lady in a red hat, who had been involved in a car accident"  I looked at the paper and it was written down, she then asked "may I pray for you?"  I was in shock, total shock I had no idea what to say or think, I started to fill up with tears, one of my team says let her pray for you, and her Mum with her agrees; "Go on let her pray for you!" One of our designers Managers tells me "let her pray for you" I thought I need to get my team out of the cold and if this lady can come with me to McDonalds sure, as I want to talk with her some more and have her pray with me, but I can feel my legs seizing up in the cold.  

We make our way to McDonalds and it is packed, people are behaving inappropriately, I proceed to sit down to meet the rest of the team, and wait for this lady, but she is kept there talking to the Manager of one of our designers, she comes over giving me her number on a piece of paper, including an email address and says, "I can see you are busy right now so we will arrange to meet again" I later find out from the Manager of one of www.theredballandredparty.com designers that she allowed her to pray for her, she was pouring her heart out crying to her, this woman is an Evangelist from the Florida who is visiting the U.K, she has been preaching and performing miracles in their church The City Temple, I was kinda heated then because, I needed the time with this Evangelist and here is this Manager telling me she got MY prayers (lol) but she seized the moment.

So in church yesterday, the word is being brought to us by Overseer Dexter Edmund who has come over from the U.S, he tells us that this year 2011 theme is "A time to Conquer" we must know all of us have our purpose, we should not pay attention to what people think or are saying focus on our visions "Seize the moment" I was up of my chair at that moment like (poof!) praising God and waving my hands (lol) I must have looked crazy, but I didn't care I knew why I was so happy, my vision is my Gramps foundation to better the lives of people who are less fortunate in society.  I was the first to get to the altar and ask for prayer, but I really wanted to ask Overseer Edmund to pray for me, however I looked at one of the mothers of the church who was looking at me strangely, and I became afraid to ask, that moment although I had heard the words "seize the moment" although I had heard Overseer Edmunds words regarding Peter the disciple seizing the moment he says in Matthew 14; "Peter seized the moment, out of all the disciples he could say I walked on water, I may have sank, but I walked on water, through his faith, none of the other disciples did this".  He also preached that in Luke 13 a blind man cried to Jesus to heal me, that was it I knew that moment that I am going to get better, things are going to get better a change is happening for me

My prayer this week is not to be discouraged to reach my goals because of people or fellow brethren in church, who are people they are all servants of God, lower than the heavens, irrespective of their titles in church, irrespective of their jobs in society, no one is better than anyone here! 

I am reminded of the scripture where Martha had been running around to make preperations for a dinner where Jesus would be present, but all Mary did was buy expensive perfume and bathe his feet John 12:3. There are those who are interested in taking care of the physical needs of the Elders in church, constantly keeping watch over how close people get to the Elders in the church because they are human, and need to rest, and those who are interested in taking care of the spiritual needs, both are valuable needs and can work hand in hand not against one another. 

We each have our use and purpose. 

I pray God teach me from this lesson between Mary and Martha, I am not loved more than the drug addict on the streets, than the murderer in prison, than the prostitute selling her body and than the alcoholic homeless man living on the streets. God is no respector of persons heaven will not have different sections for Bishops, Doctors, Politicians the ONLY hierarchy is GOD himself.

I then went to my Uncle's house for dinner he was quick to let me know what the streets are gossiping of with regard to the members in church, how he doesn't need to go to church, he doesn't want to hear what people have to say.  Well to be honest neither do I, I go to church to hear from God, to have a positive outlook on life, to be around like minded people, in Corinthians 11 Paul states "Follow me as I follow Christ.." in other words if you see me faulter not following Christ don't stop following the ultimate leader after all no one is perfect, we are human, no one in church professes to be perfect, sure you have many characters, and there may be times people being human will say or do things that are discouraging whether they be in church, or not! However, the bible says in Hebrews 11:25 Choosing rather to suffer the afflictions with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season.  It is my goal to make heaven sin will not be my key to heavens pearly gates because Romans 6:23 states "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord"

I have been through hell on earth, beaten down till my body can no longer function so like my Overseer Dexter Edmund says "heaven has to be better than this".

In a nut shell, I have been through so much negative things through people in church and out of church, but the worst I have to worry about in church is peoples looks and mouths, I have to worry for my personal safety when not in church, my life, I have experienced being held hostage at gunpoint in my home, being beaten up till my foot was dislocated in three places and broken, I have been spat at, sworn at, had a knife held to my throat.  So if you ask me church is a bed of roses in comparison.  To you Uncle I say Matthew 7 not everyone who says Lord Lord will make it but being in the right place at the right time helps, and church is the right place for me, that's my choice.

Spending time with my Uncle was nice it is strange how much of him reminds me of my Gramps, when Gramps was alive I never noticed how much all my Aunties and Uncles are like my Grandad, the things they say, do the facial expressions.  I felt close to Grandad at that moment.  His wife is an excellent cook OMG she is a chef and OMG I had a 3 course meal lol I felt like a Princess, I was vexed when my Mum came for me to take me home I wanted seconds.

I am thankful for the help of my family and friends truly I am blessed but most of all i am thankful to be in Gods favour, if God is for me then no one can be against me.