20/04/12

Dear Diary,

I had my first PTSD session yesterday, it was not easy opening up to a stranger and I knew I'd struggle with this so I was glad to have a carer with me.

I had to talk about my childhood, my family unit and incidents that had caused an impact on me mentally and physically.  This would have been difficult had I not had sessions with my O.T in CBT.

The saddest part for me was being told that I would have to wait another year before my next appointment because of the NHS waiting list, after opening up "Pandora's Box" that was it.  I asked if there were any support groups or something that could help me in the meantime, and he knew of only one called "Woman In Mind" 

But I tackled a huge milestone if someone had said to me 4 years ago that, I would be out of my home, in an office, getting therapy, talking to a male doctor, opening up and not afraid, I would never have believed it!


Also the Psychiatrist believes that if I can learn to cope with the PTSD, it will have a positive effect on my pain management and other symptoms of Fibromyalgia, I needed to hear some good news and that was like someone had given me a 100 thousand pounds! :)

God is good I finally see his beauty in me, and his grace through other people!

"Smile though your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky you'll get by if you just smile"